Getting Ready

Alas, I promise more frequent updates and I drop off the center of the earth again. I'm sorry about this but at least it is somewhat good news.

I am nearing the month mark (Thursday) with the new splint. The good news is I have moved past the crying everyday stage. My pain level has dropped about a point. Instead of sitting between a 9 and 10, I now fluctuate in the range of 7-8 (usually close to an 8). It has really helped me to continue with work, which is a blessing because i've been really worried about my job.

This week has been a little rougher than the past three. The nerve pain seems to be getting a bit worse. It is difficult now to lay with my head to one side, as I have some shooting pain. This is new and I don't know why it has started. My arm/wrist is also getting much worse. We aren't sure still if this is something related or not and won't know until after surgery (which isn't 100% determined yet but am pretty certain it will happen). I'm praying this rougher week is just a fluke and I can get back to the lower end of my pain (come on 6!).

With this small drop in pain i've been able to take less medication. I no longer have to be on it 24 hrs a day, though have yet to go through a day without something. Thankfully the narcotics sit there and are not touched everyday; they are only used for emergencies. Really, it is muscle relaxants and prescription motrin. I'm hoping the doctor might prescribe something nerve related at the next appointment, as that is where most of the pain is now.

My next appointment is this upcoming Monday with the oral surgeon. I'm somewhat nervous about it and don't completely know why. I wish my pain was better than it is. This 10-15% drop in pain is not enough to prevent surgery. I wish it was but I don't think I can live my life like this for long term. While i'm celebrating not crying everyday, I still hurt and struggle to function well. Without the pills, 24hr splint, soft food diet, and physical therapy 3X a week, I don't know what i'd do. I'm really tired of hurting all the time.

So, that is the update for now. I am praising God that I am able to function in my job though am praying for less pain so I can be an even better pastor. If you could pray with me on this it would be greatly appreciated. Hope you all are doing well and will be keeping you in my prayers.

The Good Days

It is when you are at your lowest that God sometimes sweeps in and blesses you with a good day. I love those little surprises.

Today I was preaching on how God came to us in Christ's birth, and how he continues to still come today. As we enter this new year, we can look forward, we can look ahead with anticipation, knowing that God promises to be with us each step of the way.

I was blessed this morning to awaken to a day where I felt God's presence in my life. I felt God come down and touch me, heal me, with a day where the pain was not overwhelming. I was able to enjoy myself as I led worship. I didn't lose my words like I have so many other Sundays recently due to the fog overtaking me, a dizzy spell, or the pain being too much. I was able to have clear conversations and follow what others were saying throughout the Sunday morning, during the visitation I did after services, and this evening as I had guests at my home.

Today, I felt somewhat normal. While the pain is still present, while I know I am not healed by any stretch of the imagination, it was indeed a good day. It was one where I was able to get everything done that needed to be done, and there was even time to have some fun. And for this, I can be thankful. It is days such as this I praise God and will hold onto when the not so good days arise.