Getting Ready

Alas, I promise more frequent updates and I drop off the center of the earth again. I'm sorry about this but at least it is somewhat good news.

I am nearing the month mark (Thursday) with the new splint. The good news is I have moved past the crying everyday stage. My pain level has dropped about a point. Instead of sitting between a 9 and 10, I now fluctuate in the range of 7-8 (usually close to an 8). It has really helped me to continue with work, which is a blessing because i've been really worried about my job.

This week has been a little rougher than the past three. The nerve pain seems to be getting a bit worse. It is difficult now to lay with my head to one side, as I have some shooting pain. This is new and I don't know why it has started. My arm/wrist is also getting much worse. We aren't sure still if this is something related or not and won't know until after surgery (which isn't 100% determined yet but am pretty certain it will happen). I'm praying this rougher week is just a fluke and I can get back to the lower end of my pain (come on 6!).

With this small drop in pain i've been able to take less medication. I no longer have to be on it 24 hrs a day, though have yet to go through a day without something. Thankfully the narcotics sit there and are not touched everyday; they are only used for emergencies. Really, it is muscle relaxants and prescription motrin. I'm hoping the doctor might prescribe something nerve related at the next appointment, as that is where most of the pain is now.

My next appointment is this upcoming Monday with the oral surgeon. I'm somewhat nervous about it and don't completely know why. I wish my pain was better than it is. This 10-15% drop in pain is not enough to prevent surgery. I wish it was but I don't think I can live my life like this for long term. While i'm celebrating not crying everyday, I still hurt and struggle to function well. Without the pills, 24hr splint, soft food diet, and physical therapy 3X a week, I don't know what i'd do. I'm really tired of hurting all the time.

So, that is the update for now. I am praising God that I am able to function in my job though am praying for less pain so I can be an even better pastor. If you could pray with me on this it would be greatly appreciated. Hope you all are doing well and will be keeping you in my prayers.

So Unattractive!

I apologize for the length between updates. It has been a difficult few weeks, with my pain increasing and work load growing. The arthrocentesis did help to alleviate some of the muscular pain; the downfall to this is I felt the jaw and nerve pain so much more. Since the procedure, I have had to be on much stronger pain killers daily. Thankfully though, I am slowly able to cut down on the narcotics and move back into muscle relaxants and high doses of motrin. I'm hopeful I can stay away from the "bad" drugs.

Today I went back to the surgeon and received my new 24/7 mouthpiece. It is much uglier and bulky than I had anticipated. It fits over my bottom teeth and causes a bit of a lisp. The only time I am supposed to take it out is for eating and preaching he said. Ughh...how I hate it. Even after the possible surgery I will have to wear this thing. I would love to just throw it in the trash but it is a spendy little bugger and he thinks it will help at least some. I find like every other splint i've had I am clenching more but i'll try to keep my mindset optimistic. It may very well help once I get use to it.

The news on the surgery front is both good and bad. While i'm completely ready to head in to the operating room at this point, the waiting game will continue. For insurance purposes as well as to allow us to see how the splint works, we'll have to wait another two months. The doctor said the insurance company requires this last wait before they will ever approve the surgery. The good news to this is it will give us the chance to really give the splint coupled with more physical therapy a chance to do its thing. The bad news is more waiting, more pain, and the surgery date possibly interfering with important work stuff.

I'm finding i'm not the most patient person when it comes to pain. I cannot stand my life being so debilitated with this. The thought of my life being in semi-hold for an even longer period of time is agonizing. I just want this over. I know the wait is a good thing for my body but for my state of mind I feel destroyed. It is amazing how the body effects the mind so much. With each day that passes, i'm feeling more down in the dumps and can't find the motivation for anything. My house is a total disaster, and work is so hard to focus on. All I can focus on is the pain and the hope of getting rid of it.

Please pray i'm able to get my energy, motivation,and zest for life back. I just want to feel normal again.

Thank you for continuing to check in. Each comment left really does make a difference. It is great to know someone out there is reading this. :) I promise to keep up more with this blog. I am finding it very therapeutic.